Bruce Rushton
The Illinois Times
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ROCK ‘EM SOCK ‘EM ALDERMAN: Ward 2 Ald. Shawn “Rabbit Punch” Gregory never has shied from a fight. “Willie (that’s the alderman’s given first name) told us that he is a very good fighter and could hold his own,” cops reported in 2002 when interrogating him about a parking lot encounter with a sheriff’s employee who was much bigger. A friend back then said that the future alderman, accused of brandishing a pistol, had no fear. “I know Shawn, and he won’t back down from anyone,” the friend told detectives, who found it hard to believe that someone as svelte as Shawn would talk trash without packing heat. Gregory was acquitted of a weapon charge.
Years, maybe, have taken their toll. Gregory got his behind kicked in a street fight one day before appearing at a March 5 press conference, when cops, prosecutors and sundry civic leaders urged an end to violence – gunfire and homicides have been rocking the city. During one minute at the podium, he said that he was sorry, then skedaddled.
Purported leaders at the press conference kept saying, “If you see something, say something.” How should prosecutors handle a brawl with video leaving no doubt about who was involved? Sangamon County State’s Attorney Dan “Mills Lane” Wright said that he wouldn’t respond to hypotheticals, nor would he discuss the Gregory fight.
Sounds like we have us a referee. Meanwhile, Langfelder sanctioned Gregory’s bout, saying that the alderman and whomever it was who kicked butt had handled things the right way, just like he once did. Reliable sources say that Langfelder is no slouch in the sweet science, having once terrorized the Sacred Heart-Griffin student body after saying no mas to having his lunch money taken – most people don’t know that a Don King portrait covers an entire wall in his office.
In lieu of murky politics, let’s set up a ring, or perhaps a wading pool filled with Jell-O, inside city council chambers. Who wouldn’t pay good money to see Ward 7 Ald. Joe “The Enforcer” McMenamin in a tag-team match against nine? Before we knew it, coffers would overflow, and we’d have plenty of cash for firefighters to hose everyone clean before final votes.
ERRATA: Last week, I reported that 20 Springfield fire department employees earn six figures. That doesn’t include overtime, according to McMenamin, who pegs the true number at 76 and is a stickler, thank goodness, for detail. My bad.
Joe McMenamin for Ward 7 